Parallel thrills

Parallel thrills are my new way of getting kicks out of life. When I ride on the bus, I listen (unashamedly ) to the conversations of people around me. When I log on to orkut, I read other people's scraps and follow their conversation. Its a way of getting maximum value of an experience. Its a universal phenomenon, I bet. I have been made uncomfortable by many a stranger sitting at a neighbouring table in a restaurant, smiling at the conversations on our table. Next best thing to an i-pod. Maybe better when you are listening to 'Maula mere' for the millionth time.

Sports commentary is the best illustration of the above phenomenon.Why would anyone pay people to talk about the game if nobody wanted to listen in?

As you have probably guessed, this whole beating-around-the-bush stemmed from a ridiculous example of commentary between two American commentators. They were commenting on the Mauresmo-Santangelo Third round match at Wimbledon. Americans being Americans, have to go completely over the top on everything and that is what is expected in commentary too, I guess. Commentator One was this I-should-have-been-in-management type who was all about the money. Commentator Two was an I-am-so-laid- back-compared-to-this-guy type. This is what they had to say. I do not vouch for the exact words, but I am pretty much sure I get the spirit across.

Topic-Tradition of taking Sunday off in the middle of the tournament at Wimbledon.

Wannabe MBA-"If I was commissioner the first rule I would change is-' No play on Sunday'. Play on Sunday!"

Kewl Doode- "No."

WM- "In the middle of the tournament already delayed by rain, on maximum viewership day, they decide to take Sunday off?"

KD-" I enjoy middle sunday off. Not having to shave, taking a walk.. Dick is grilling hamburgers.Come on.. We need a little 'selfish' here. Plus its the tradition."

WM - "I am just thinking about the good of the game. Imagine all the sponsorships that are being done away because of this."

KD- "I don't think this tournament is exactly suffering from lack of sponsorship. I don't think thats a problem here."

What about the game that was going on, you say? Frankly , it wasn't that thrilling. So I just listened to these guys bickering about the commerce of weekends.

No wonder commentary is so much a part of cricket. When players have time to pick their noses in an obscure part of the field, it doesn't require a genius to conclude that its a pretty slow moving game. Imagine the dullness without commentary. If there were to be no Harsha Bhogle with his overflowing enthusiasm, no Ravi Shastri with his open partiality, no Tony Greig with his constant exclaiming, would the game be half as enjoyable? Whoever came up with the concept of sports commentary was a genius. Not only because the general public needs someone to walk them through the nuances of the game, but also because it makes the game seem so much more real if there are two idiots chattering in the background all the time.Try muting out commentary for half an hour. Wont feel like there is a game on.A psychoanalyst might say its a way of catering to the need for eavesdropping that exists in all of us. To that , I would say "Dead on!"